Fall in love with the dark season in Sweden // Cold sea swimming and sauna ritual is a lifestyle

 

A while ago I wrote a blog post about how I deal with winter season while living in Sweden. In expat groups on facebook its one of the most popular discussions. Everyone is asking for adveice what to do to not feel this way or every small change in their body is assumed to be because of swedish winter. So it can be a real trouble or sometimes imagination blaming no sun when actually its something else or your own bad habits. 

Until Sweden I hadn't experienced the seasonal depression. Even though I grow up in a similar climate as is Sweden. My winters were sunny with lots of snow. The snow reflected the sun and it just always felt light. Of course, there were gloomy typical dark winter days too, but not that much as I experienced while living in Malmo. The southern part of Sweden. 

There are many reasons why I was hitting the lows, not just the lack of the sun, well, yes, but not only. In my private life, behind the scenes which are not shown on social media, many reasons which affected my well being and I was in constant struggle with belittling myselinf because of his behaviour and words towards me, but knowing that I am worth of love and kindness, yet I believed more the bad part. I was in a relationship with a sociapth I blindly trusted that he is working on his changes to become a healthy, better human. Since I believed or imagined he can become a good person, then I only saw THAT side of him. I told myself to not allow the bad signs influence me (called red flags), because everyone deserves second chances (in his case 100000th chance). There were several painful moments when I lived in ongoing insecurity and doubts, but I fast switched these negative thoughts blaming myself how dare I not to trust him,as I promised I will trust and not hurt him (by sudden leaving, not accepting him, etc as he told me its his trauma from exes). Oh, silly Peggy me. The lesson later was painful, I paid mentaly and materially a lot after being so blind. All those years I was dealing with this insecure manchild, not knowing what to do, but allowing myself to think that I am a bad person if I would just leave him as I promised I wouldnt. I thought he is hurt from his past, always found excuses to his behaviour, but that's my weakness - always wanting to help others in pain as I know how it is and I dont want others to experience it. Especially those I love-ed. 

So, as my winters in Malmo did affect my mood, I tried several things creating new habits or trying new activities. In my blog post on NEWBIE GUIDE TO SWEDEN - Fall in love with the dark season in Sweden, I shared some most influencial things which helped me. 

• Regular sauna and sea swim bathing through all cold season (Malmö Kallbadhuset)
• Candles, fairy lights and adding colour in the Swedish IKEA black&white interior
• Enjoying every single second of the sun. First time I saw Swedish people sitting or standing with heads up, eyes closed outside – I didn’t understand. What, why? Alien abduction? No, you simply learn to take advantage of each second of sunshine here
• Looking at the forecast where the sunny weather for the weekend in Skåne will be to catch some friluftsliv moments. Or booking a farm stay Airbnb for a weekend.
• Make regular friend-fika meetings 
• Dog walking & sitting

In my post on their site I talk more on local travel or house sitting. But on my blog here, I will share with cold, cold sea swims and bathhouse - sauna as big part of my life. 

Coldness

My journey to like cold started VERY early in childhood. My family remembers me as the human who loves warmth. That is non existing now and my granny still can't accept it.

When I was in grade 8, I was trying to get sick to stay at home. In my childhood winters were something like this year's winter(2020-2021). So I walked with coat open, no scarf, hat, mittens. I never took a bus home, but walked. At home I took cold baths. I remember staying in cold bath reading a book 😅 . Surprisingly...I never got sick. Accidently I had improved my immune system this way.

Later my cold life continued moving to England. There's one specific home I had in England, where cold was getting to my nerves. British cardboard box walls. Then imagine having electricity running on top up money. And student budget. How often I was in shower with electricity turning off and cold water running. We didn't have heating system. I slept in a bed with next days cloth so they're warm. We could see our breath in air. It was freezing cold house. 

Also living in UK, the water was never warm there and I happened to live in British paradise Cornwall. I didn't know about black suits, instead I swam in cold water in swimming suit. British friends were shocked, but I didn't think it's strange as I spent my summers on west coast where the sea wasn't that warm either.

Then life in Sweden. I was already resistant to cold, that I slept through winter with window open. Went winter swimming and sauna. Winter campings. Malmö winters, you just learn to adapt or continue freezing.

Now I know my comfort level. I know when I can do winter swimming to not get sick and when I can't.I recognize the smallest shiver.

And in the end, after those years, I learnt that I by accident helped my mental illness with cold. People prone to depression must do contrast showers.

But I' do wish I melt my cold heart for a warmer place than Sweden one day.

Sauna is a lifestyle

When I'm asked that silly question to remind your longing for something feeling which is 'what do you miss from your homeland', its not many things anymore. It used to be a lot more, but then I lived in my pink glasses and had this built up ideology how perfect it is there. Now I miss real latvian sauna. The latvian summer sun-light (which is actually famous for in artsy photographer world) and latvian coastline. I wont go in depth of all of them, but only explain sauna. 

When I say sauna in english, in latvian its known not exactly the same what we call 'sauna', bath-house also does not sound that exact, but learn this word - PIRTS. Or more latvian way: PIRTIŅA. 

In history stories, you will read how Bathhouse was important to latvian soul and spirit. Its even described as our church. In old times, this tiny place with lots of heat, had a very important meaning and responsibilities at farmstead. 

I grow up with sauna rituals EVERY SATURDAY evening. Until I moved abroad in highschool. Obviously at the age 18/20 I didn't notice the good habits I am missing from home. I didn't care, until I started to adulthood in early 20s and taking good care of my body and health was important. 

Now when I have travelled to Latvia, as a vacation, as a holiday, escape to exotic country, I usually have the real sauna ritual experience in the countryside with the sauna healer or sauna shaman. I have no idea what's the closest translation to English of those herb and every plant knowing ladies&men who then can tell a lot about you by just looking at you and then spank you with nice smelly flower bouquetes or tree branches(with leaves on) bundle which spiritually gives some sort of energy you need. 

I love those ladies. 

I want to be one of them when I am old. 

In 2017 I started to go back to weekly sauna again. In Malmo. It was not the same but I made my own ritual and I can see how that helped me get through my then dark period in life since then. After a rollercoaster year 2016, I had understood what I need to work on on myself. My ex had hurt me with his severe disease of infidelity that I grow into thinking it is my fault. Now, I know and every lady who has experienced this should know that you are not responsible in any way of man behaving bad, its on him, on his upraising. Its all on him. So, I felt not in touch with myself as a women. My way to get back to connecting with my female energy firstly was to connect more with women, create girl friendships and have a weekly sauna at Malmo Kallbadshuset. Why there? Because that sauna is divided by genders. Men on the left, women on the right. Its perfect, because you can just relax in only female company, no stares or glances from unrespectful men just because you are naked in public space. I loved the atmosphere there and seeing all kind of women of all kind of walks of life with no the same skin texture, colour, scars, bellies, breasts, body type and it was just like being in a Dove advertisement - all different women feeling free and comfortable in their imperfectly perfect bodies. This weekly ritual helped me to accept my body, my female energy, my feminine side of me. That year I started on trips to Latvia, go to sauna healer ladies too.

At the healer sauna rituals I have experienced and felt and seen beautiful energies, changing within me that even one of the healers I went to occassionaly had noticed that I had worked with myself to let go shizzle and my body had changed. 

Healing sauna is not going to fix you like antidepressant or therapy and your own willpower. It's the same as you wont become better person after one psychedelic trip. Still have to work on your shizzle offline at home with no healer or herbs to influence you. 

But sauna is my hospital, my church, my sanctuary. I need it. My body dont feel alright without the hot steam from firewood and rocks. The air and fire energy, the earth and water, the  all 4 elements in one.

When I go to the public sauna in Malmo, I had my ritual I do since childhood: 20 min in, 10 out drinking hot pepermint tea, 20 in then take a cold plunge then back to sauna and if lucky can lay down in the room or in spring and autumn season I can do it on the sunbathing deck. When I go to this sauna to also sunbath, my ritual is similar, but more of sleeping and reading a book in the sun. When I did my first round of 20/10/20/10/20...Cup of teas and cold swims, then I just go easy on the ritual, go in as I feel for how long or short, sometimes I take more cold swims sometimes its more sauna. 

After sauna glow

Do what feels right for you, not what you see everyone doing

So, yes, these two new habits helped me a lot. Scientistically there are many informative articles how winter cold swims, contrast showers and sauna with cold swim does good on your mental health. It's all on google search. Yet, I want to say, do not try cold swimming, for example, just because it became a trend during 2020. Read about it or watch youtube videos which talks about this practise so that you understand. Just one second in and out, is not going to be the best help. Maybe start with contrast showers during summer!

Here you can plan your sauna trip to Latvia whenever it is possible after the covid period.