Grandad: My birthday's fundraising for Prostate Cancer UK on his birthday.

The last 2-3 years I have thought I want to do something meaningful to honour him, but it meant its drawing attention on me about the cause I want to speak about. Then I felt, no, no I am not ready. Now, I finally did it. Researched online the Facebook fundraising trustworthiness and finally clicked that ENTER to do this fundraising. I don't have high hopes if people from my facebook would actually donate, but I think I have helped out so many by giving my love, time, energy and even dropping whatever I am doing in order to there for someone in need, or I have done so many unpaid jobs even photography stuff... I thought these people will give at least a fiver or less, right? So, I hope I reach my goal. 

The fundraising is here: https://www.facebook.com/donate/2673297109352861/

For my 30th birthday this year, I'm asking for donations to Prostate Cancer UK✨ I've chosen this charity because their mission means a lot to me, and I hope that you'll consider contributing as a way of celebrating with me ♥ When was the last time you celebrated my birthday with me? Almost not at all, so, whether you donate a lot or a little... Anything helps someone else who still has a chance for a better life. We are too old to plan birthday parties, but you can mark in your calendar, I invite you for my 50th ;)


But. Today would be his birthday.
27.3.1943. Janis Hermanis Runtulis.

"Life without him. If you had gone to a doctor earlier, I'd be on my way to home to drink birch sap you collected, eat the soup you always made for me and eat your birthday cake granny makes for several decades. I'd tell you I'm okay, you'd probably have great-grandchild already and I'd have never lived with regret not telling you I love you in time. Life without you is less sweet. I'm sorry that I was such an angry teenager, all I wanted was to have a father, and never noticed you were already taking his roles for me. Denial of your illness I got lost in the sea. And... You were my lighthouse.

Sometimes I still reach my phone to call you. Sometimes I check my old emails you wrote me stories about how you teach our dog to bring you newspapers. Sometimes I read my diary about how angry you were. I never understood that it wasn't you, but cancer eating your soul." /Instagram/

 
If...and somehow I have helped you, inspired or given the right words at the right moment...left an impact on your life, your soul, your heart... or worked on your garden, cooked food for you, cleaned your toilet, kitchen, living room... I would appreciate this material support which does not come in my pocket but supports many other people lives. A thought that so many are involved in this painful journey, upsets me... It takes years to finally let go after seeing someone slowly in spirit disappearing. If you know, you know cancershit takes the person early away, the body is there, but the person... The light goes off.

For years I have never really talked about this with you or on social media. I did not announce his death on Facebook, instead, my coursemates at that time were confused about why I was crying every 5 minutes. The thought of not being able to attend his funeral was too painful to find words.

He knew when he will go, he tried to talk to me a year before. We went together on road trips in Latvia, he talked about history and his childhood, his youth and his army time. I enjoyed, yet I did not want he tells me everything as then it meant I accept he will go. I knew he had a heavy childhood, I knew he had worked hard in his life to get a better life for me and my brother. Yet, only a year before, I learnt that I had so much more common with him than I thought. Photography, travel, outdoor adventures and experimenting in the kitchen. His way of communicating with strangers, definitely left an impact on me when I hitchhiked around.

On one of our last road trip together. 2011.

Without him, I wouldn't be me.

He was a father and grandfather in one.

There were days when I was scared to show him my bad grade at school,
But there were days when I knew he will protect me from anything.
His most important words I remember were:
"Enjoy life as much as you can, because work is not the only thing."

If he was in the golden years of enjoying a long pension, he would have indulged in his various hobbies: sculpture making from everyday objects, photography, writing his cookbook and fishing. And probably be the most famous Instagram grandpa!

By donating a few kronor, euros, dollars we together can help many others to fight and win cancershit and have a better life to live! What the person with cancershit and the relatives have to go through, is something I couldn't wish to anyone experience. Yet, there are still many who might have the same sobbing story as me.

By supporting this charity, I hope any little money helps to save someone's else life.


Thank you.♥

p.s. My birthday is 18/5 

One of the nicest portraits of him. By Diego.

On this road trip he wanted to talk to me about that this is the last time he sees this and is with me. I rejected this conversation as I was in denial that he has to go, I wanted to believe - HE WILL BE ALRIGHT.

We both liked to learn about the family tree and keep together people.

This is how he always welcomed me home from my travels&school abroad.

This is how he always welcomed me home from my travels&school abroad.